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.”Eric shrugged his shoulders.“Is it so impossible to understand? It seems to be impossible to understand.They say I have to be reasonable.Even Mother thinks this is getting crazy.She says that I have to see the context.Making judgments is an art in itself, she says.I don’t need to make judgments.It’s a matter of courage.To have the strength to keep from compromising.”“And you think I have problems,” said Eric.“I’ve never said that,” I answered.“No,” Eric quickly agreed.“No, Teddy, that’s right.You’ve never accused me of anything.”And he smiled at me and took my paw over the table.Then I wept.I couldn’t help it.“Eric,” I said, “I’m not here to ask you for a favor.”His gaze was sharp despite the alcohol.“I’ve come to propose a businesslike agreement to you.Between brothers.Without papers and signatures.But no less binding for that.”“An agreement?” asked Eric.I nodded.Now I knew what I should say.It didn’t make the words easier to get out of me.“I get something, and you get something in exchange,” I said.“What do I get?” he wanted to know.There was expectation in the air.“Money,” I answered at last.“You intend to pay me?” asked Eric.“Yes I do,” I confirmed.“You’ll get paid.”“I get paid at Casino Monokowski, too,” he said.“You’re going to get more from me,” I said.“Lots more.”“I don’t know if I want to hear the rest…”“I have problems.With my life, Eric.It’s hard being good.”This sounded pathetic.I couldn’t continue.But Eric understood me.He had always understood me.He nodded.I swallowed, collected myself, and continued.“Being good and at the same time living an everyday life…it’s…I’m forced into situations that…where all the alternatives are equally impossible.And I cannot…Eric, I’m serious, I…”Then I whispered.“Either I die, Eric.Die now.Quickly.Before I fall for the temptations.Before I’m seduced by the sort of things that others regard as bagatelles.Little things.That’s how evil tries to lure me.With the little things.Or else…we find a way out.”He remained sitting silently.I dried my tears.I cleared my throat and did my best to focus.What I had to say demanded a certain degree of dignity.“Eric, the agreement I am proposing…I want you to take my place.When life forces me to make a decision…when life forces me to do things…that are not compatible with goodness.”He met my gaze, and I looked down at the table.Now it was said.The silence that followed became a long one.“Okay,” he said at last.“Okay, we’ll do it.Shall we go?”And with that I left Casino Monokowski for the second, and final, time.I couldn’t stay under the table.As long I could see her brown boots with the suns on the calf I didn’t dare risk anything, but when they disappeared out of sight I assumed that she’d sat down with the dove and the gorillas.With a certain difficulty I wriggled myself back up onto the red seat.I didn’t want to risk Nick coming over to my booth and asking what I was doing.It would have been difficult to explain.A single thought echoed in my head.I ought not to have been this close to Emma Rabbit.Not at Nick’s Café, right across the street from number 32 Uxbridge Street, that sober, brick-red street.She had just arrived.I had to go.I had to get out of there.I evaluated my chances.Could I make my way from my booth and over to the door without Emma seeing me? It was likely that she was sitting on the outside of the booth behind mine.If she were seated facing in, the possibilities of succeeding were reasonable.But if she were seated facing the exit…And if I remained sitting?They were carrying on a conversation which I still could not hear, but Emma’s soft, clear voice went right into my heart.It was painful.So near.After a few minutes I’d had enough.I had to do something.It was impossible to remain sitting.I moved carefully along the table.I held on to the menu in order to conceal my face if that should be required.It was required.Suddenly the tone from the neighboring booth changed.Departure.Farewells.I ducked down behind the dessert menu.A few seconds later Emma Rabbit was standing right next to me.She stood with her back turned toward me.The dove placed himself alongside her.I peeked over the edge of my dessert menu.The dove and Emma were embracing each other.They were hugging [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]