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.Joseph silently cursed.He still wasn’t sure how to explain his relationship with Phillip.“I guess that’s my answer.” Cullen tried to pull away, but Joseph refused to let him.“No,” Joseph blurted.“I don’t see the two of you the same.” He held Cullen as tight as he could without hurting him.“Phillip and I were partners in every sense of the word except in the bedroom.”“You didn’t fuck?” Cullen reared back enough to meet Joseph’s gaze.Joseph shook his head.“You don’t understand.” He struggled to find the words.“Phillip was so gentle in everything he did that our lovemaking was…”“Boring?”Please forgive me, Phillip.“Yes,” Joseph confessed.“I never doubted for a second that he loved me, but our sex life was a failure.”“That’s not possible.” Cullen fingered the buttons on the front of Joseph’s black dress shirt.“Don’t get mad at me, but it could have something to do with the clothes you wear.Phillip was religious, right?”“Yes, that’s how we met.I was still a priest at the time, and Phillip was a member of my congregation.” Joseph still remembered his body’s reaction when he’d first laid eyes on Phillip.“So you left the priesthood for him?” Cullen asked.“Not right away, but eventually,” Joseph replied.“Phillip used to apologize all the time for luring me away from my faith.I tried to make him understand that I left the Catholic Church but God would forever be in my soul, but I don’t think he ever truly believed me.”“And his guilt affected your sex life?”Joseph brushed his cheek against Cullen’s.Admitting the truth about his relationship was one of the hardest things he’d ever had to do.“By the time Phillip and I had sex for the first time, I’d left the priesthood.It was apparent after our first time together that we weren’t compatible in bed, but Phillip felt too guilty to leave me at that point, so we made our relationship work by concentrating on other aspects of our love for each other.”“You still haven’t answered my original question,” Cullen reminded.“Ask it again.” Joseph had no intention of dodging the question, but he needed to make Cullen understand how different he hoped their relationship could be.“When you think of me, do you see me the same way you did Phillip?”“No,” Joseph whispered.“Because in the end, Phillip and I loved each other more like brothers.I’m not complaining.We were happy despite our failings.” He glanced around them, making sure they weren’t being watched before he continued.“My love for you is different.I can’t explain it, but you make me feel like a complete man.I want things with you that I’d never be able to admit to someone else.”“What things?” Cullen asked.Joseph felt his face heat.“Can we talk about it later when we’re not standing on the sidewalk in full view of the neighborhood?”A devilish tilt of his lips transformed Cullen’s masculine face into a boyish grin.“We can grab a couple of burgers from The Bluebird before going back to my place if that suits you?”“Lead the way.”* * * *Joseph held the door open for Cullen as they entered The Bluebird Café.The old wooden floor, along with the mismatched tables and chairs, gave the place a homey feel that he appreciated.“Hey, sweetie, I wondered why I hadn’t seen you today,” a heavy-set woman, Joseph assumed was Bev, said.She grabbed two menus and made her way toward them.“Who’ve you got with ya?”Cullen surprised Joseph by giving the woman a kiss on the cheek.“Evening, Bev.” He gestured to Joseph.“This is my friend Joseph Allenbrand.He runs the shelter in DC that’ll be transferring to Lobster Cove.”Bev’s big brown eyes softened as she stared up at Joseph.“Bless you,” she said.“Carl took me down to New Orleans for our anniversary a few years ago, and I saw so many young people on the street there.” She covered her mouth and shook her head.“I don’t mind telling you, I wanted to pack them all up and bring them home with me.”Joseph smiled at her kindness.“Thank you.I’m glad you feel that way.The neighborhood we’re in now doesn’t feel the same, so it’ll be nice for the boys to be around people who don’t look down their noses at them for being who they are.”Bev’s face reddened.“None of that will go on here.I promise you that.” She placed her left fist on her ample hip.“Carl’s nephew, Bishop, prefers men, and we don’t put up with any bad talk about him.He’s a chef down in Portland.Good boy.”Joseph nodded [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]