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.In all the years he’d known Jamie Miller, they’d never been fishing together.Generally, they played basketball, went running, or went to the gym.He took Jamie hunting a couple of times and that was a blast! Matt wondered why Jamie never asked Matt to go fishing.“Bass.”“You eat ’em?”“Yeah.My dad’s a great cook.He’s teaching me all kinds of ways to cook fish—and chicken and steak.I think he cooks better than Mom.”Matt smirked.“Are you turning into a little housewife, or what?”Jamie flipped him off.“What’d I say?” Matt batted his eyes innocently at Jamie and put his hand over his heart.“Stop.” Jamie rolled his eyes.After he scrubbed his side of the hood, he grabbed the hose and rinsed.“So, Matt, is that what you’re looking for—a housewife?”Matt wasn’t sure he’d heard him correctly.He popped up from rubbing the wheel well and said, “Huh?”Jamie cleared his throat.“I said… is that what you want—a housewife?”Matt was baffled.“What? Looking for? Dude, I told you before, I’m not looking for anybody.”Jamie shrugged.“Not even a little bit? Aren’t you curious if your dream guy is out there?”“Dream guy? What teen magazine are you reading?”Jamie huffed and walked around to his side of the Jeep while Matt carried on a monologue of his own—making fun of Jamie mostly, but playing along with the idea of his perfect match.He flexed his muscles and talked to himself while Jamie fumed.Jamie was always irritated at Matt for one reason or another, and Matt had learned to ignore it over the years.When Jamie came back around to his side of the Jeep, Matt looked up.“What?” Jamie had a weird look in his eyes.Jamie laughed deviously and then proceeded to spray him with the hose.Matt fell back on his ass and flung his soap-sodden sponge at Jamie.Jamie dodged the poorly thrown object and continued to spray Matt from head to toe.Matt reached for the soap bucket, and Jamie turned tail and sprinted for the house.Matt anticipated this move and ran around the other way.Just as Jamie neared the garage door, Matt hauled back and flung the bucket of water at his exposed back.Jamie froze and turned around slowly.Matt held his hands out to the side.“You asked for it, dude.”Jamie stood there a few seconds in silence, and little by little, a smile made its way to his face.“Yeah, I guess I did.”Matt waved him back.“Come on, let’s finish this and go play some basketball.”“All right.” He followed Matt back to the Jeep and retrieved the sponge.“Here.”“Thanks.” Matt took it and resumed washing the rims….MATT took his eyes off the bedroom ceiling, got off the bed, and walked over to his closet.In the back were Jamie’s journals.He remembered Jamie writing something about that day.Where was it?Matt flipped the pages until familiar words caught his eye.“Here it is.”Matt read the entry:I’m not sure why I do the things I do.I just told Darian I had a headache and didn’t want sex.I DID! Just not with him.Instead I took a shower and jacked off thinking about Matt.Fuck, am I messed up? Matt will never want me.He said in his “perfect scenario” the guy he’s with isn’t strong like he is.His “dream guy” needs protecting and clings to his manly muscles.What a bunch of shit.He even kissed his biceps and flexed them like the Hulk.I know he was just doing all that to mess with me.Manly muscles….Pft! He said he wants someone vulnerable, who needs protection so he can be his champion or knight in shining armor.Shit! That leaves me out.I am not weak.Sure I’d like to be all over his “manly muscles” but not because I need protecting.Fuck, come to think of it, Darian fits that profile exactly.One more reason the two of them should NEVER meet! He’d get one hint of Darian’s innocent charm and defenselessness and never look at me again.Matt.Fuck him with his ripped chest and killer thighs.Shit.I can’t believe he didn’t notice my boner when I hosed him down.He was so hot!I think I need to come again.MATT placed the book in his backpack and crawled back in bed.“Fuck, I hate this!” He picked up the picture again and spoke quietly.“Sex with Darian was a bad idea, especially after I knew who he was.I shouldn’t have taken advantage of him.No wonder he’s not saying anything about how he feels about me.When have I given him a chance to grieve? He lost you, Jamie, just like me.I don’t know what I expected.Not this.”Matt rolled over, put the picture back on the table, and turned off the light.“I guess you were right when you said you thought we should never meet.Darian’s the guy I’ve always wanted to find, but he fell in love with you first.I was so stupid to think this could turn out to be something more than fucking.”Matt fell asleep with Jamie’s words echoing in his mind: One more reason the two of them should never meet! One more reason the two of them should never meet! One more reason the two of them should never meet!MATT stirred when the bed moved in the middle of the night.He felt the chill as Darian snuggled his cold body up against Matt’s back in silence.Matt wasn’t sure what he should do.Should he pretend to sleep and see if Darian made a move to wake him? Or should he reach over and turn the light on so they could hash it out? Darian had to be angry with him.The answer came to him when he heard Darian crying.Matt rolled over and took Darian into his arms, instantly apologizing.“I’m so sorry, baby.I am such a jerk.I shouldn’t have treated your friends like that.I shouldn’t have yelled at you either.I was completely rude.Dare, I’m so sorry.” He rubbed Darian’s back and pulled his body tight against his chest.Matt whispered, “I didn’t want you to leave.”“I tried… to leave.” Darian shivered and sniffled.“I pulled my clothes on… o-over my wet body a-after I closed your front d-door.I went to my car and sat in the seat.I t-turned the e-engine on and off four times.I just couldn’t… go home.I c-couldn’t do it.”“Oh, Darian.” Matt felt horrible.“You’re freezing.” He rubbed Darian’s arms and back fervently, trying to warm him with friction.What Darian said bothered him.Matt knew it had been about two weeks since Darian had gone home to where he and Jamie lived with Jamie’s dad, Dan Miller.Dan had even approached Matt at Matt’s parents’ house after the funeral to check on Darian because he hadn’t heard from him in a few days.Matt texted Dan a couple times to say all was fine, even though he had his doubts.Maybe he should call him in the morning and discuss his concerns about Darian.Matt held him tight and kissed his hair.“Fuck me, Matt,” Darian pleaded.“Please.” He pushed at Matt’s chest and wormed his hand down between them, inside Matt’s pajama bottoms.“I need to feel you inside me,” he said, breathing heavily.Matt knew it was wrong.He knew sex was not the solution, but when Darian took a firm hold of him and stroked the way he did, Matt couldn’t think.He moaned and instinctively thrust into that talented fist.Darian pushed the blankets back, and pulled Matt’s pants down his thighs.Matt heard a package tear, and he felt Darian sliding a condom over him in the dark.“I want you from behind, Matt.Be rough with me.”Matt eagerly sat up and moved in behind Darian, exhilarated by his request for roughness (although not surprised, given the other day when Matt had practically fucked him through the wall) [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]