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.“That man is at her house every day, and it’s not just to see Lizzie.”I shot her a look that told her to shut the hel up.“What?” Natalie asked in defense as if I should have no problem with her sharing something so private.“It’s not a big deal, Liz.I think it’s great.so does Matthew,” she added with a shrug.A col ective gasp went around the room, and that shock shifted to unease.A mixture of embarrassment and anger flared on my face and heated my cheeks.This wasn’t how this conversation was supposed to go.I’d wanted to ease the rest of my family into the idea of Christian being a part of our lives, not have Nat giving them fuel for the assumptions I was sure they were already going to make.She knew my mother didn’t know Christian had become something so significant.To the rest of these women, he was stil the “infamous Christian Davison.”“Are you back together with him?” Mom demanded with her brow knitted in what I could only assume was disgust.I couldn’t tel if that disgust was due to the idea of that being a reality or if she was hurt because she thought she’d been kept in the dark about something so important in my life.“No.no.of course not.he’s just.,” I rambled, shaking my head, unsure of what to say because I had no explanation for what he was.I didn’t know myself.“Wel if you don’t want him, I’l take him,” Carrie piped up, laughing through slurred words as if it were the funniest thing she’d ever said.“That is one gorgeous man.”“Shut up, Carrie,” I spat in her direction.She had no right to say something like that, drunk or not.She laughed, not even fazed that she’d upset me.She’d probably not even noticed.“I mean, come on, Liz.Have you seen the man? You think he’s going stick around? Wait for you forever?Somebody’s gonna catch him.” She shrugged and smirked.“Might as wel be me.”My hands shook and tears pricked at my eyes.Right then, I hated my little sister.“Shut up,” I said through gritted teeth, seething before I stood and slammed my wine glass down on the kitchen table.“Just shut the hel up!”She sat back, shocked by my reaction before a horrified expression crossed her face when she realized she’d real y hurt me.“Oh, my—my God, Liz, I.I’m.,” she stuttered, reaching for me.I held up my hand and shook my head.I couldn’t listen to her right now.I stormed from the room to the sound of Sarah’s mock applause.“That’s real y great, Carrie.Real cute.”“I didn’t mean.,” Carrie said, trying to defend herself but stopping short when Sarah’s voice rose above hers.“Just shut up, Carrie.You’ve said enough tonight.” The door closed behind me, leaving me with trembling hands and the sound of muddled, heated words coming from the other room.I rushed to get my jacket on, shaking as I fumbled with the zipper on my bag and then flung it over my shoulder and onto my back.The door swung open, and for a moment Aunt Donna’s words became clear as she scolded Natalie and Carrie as if they were schoolgirls who’d been caught smoking in the bathroom,rebukingtheirbanter,criticizingforinconsiderate words.Mom stood in the doorway, her eyes sympathetic and worried.As soon as they landed on my face, I broke.Tears rol ed down my cheeks, hot and angry and hurt.She crossed the room and took me in her arms.She wiped my tears and whispered that Carrie didn’t mean what she’d said.I shook my head against her shoulder, al owed myself to fal apart in her comfort.“I don’t know what to do,” I cried again and again, desperate for Mom to understand, to have an answer.I don’t know what to do.She shushed me, pushed the matted hair from my face, and shook her head in empathy.“Oh, Elizabeth, honey.” She tightened her hold and ran her hand through my hair.“I can’t tel you what to do, sweetheart.That’s something you’re going to have to decide for yourself,” she murmured against my head, a hopeless consolation.I cried harder, clung to her, wished for the day when just her touch had eased my every fear, her advice an answer for my every question.How could I ever decide if I could never know for sure that he wouldn’t hurt me or wouldn’t leave me once again?She stepped back and lifted my chin, searching my face.“You stil love him?”I was sure she knew I did, had probably always known although every word I’d ever spoken of Christian to her had been riddled with scorn.Closing my eyes, I nodded once against her hand.She released a heavy breath, and I opened my eyes to her slowly shaking her head.Her eyes were sad, and she seemed to struggle with what to say [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]