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.I shake my head.“I’m not interested.I’m just…” Interested.Damn, I’m losing it.Panic rises up inside of me.I feel wetness bead on my forehead and realize that I’m actually starting to sweat.This is so confusing.I don’t understand this—this draw, this urgency coursing through me like an electrical hum.Why is my head spinning with words and song lyrics? Why do I keep picturing her eyes? Her neck? I don’t even know this girl.I’ve met her once.Twice if you count the gas station.“You’re the one who brought it up in the first place.”“Ren Parkhurst? The star of Howl? Does that ring any bells with you?” When I shake my head again, her voice rises with disbelief and she throws her hands in front of her body.“The actor? The bathroom sex guy?”My mouth goes slack, my brain skimming over my limited knowledge of pop culture.“From that video last week? The one that you showed me?”“The very one.” She bends to me, whispering conspiratorially.“That video is exactly why Gemma is sleeping on Julie’s futon and looking for a job.She was living with him but moved out.Obviously.”I scrub my hand through my hair.“She dated an actor?”“You don’t have to say it with such disdain.You do realize that I’m a theater student?”I ignore my sister and blink.An actor?A fucking actor from one of those shitty teen paranormal TV shows?Gemma dated that guy?That guy?I’m momentarily disappointed.She didn’t seem like the type to be impressed with all of that stuff—the fancy cars, the glint of fame and fortune—and I think about all the ways the picture doesn’t add up.It’s like when you’re a kid and you learn about molecules and atoms and that everything in this world is made up of the exact same stuff, and your eyes are bouncing between the stars and the water and the skin on your legs and you’re thinking to yourself, how does that work?“Is she okay?” I ask without thinking.My sister makes a face.“What do you think, Landon? She was devastated and embarrassed.Her whole world has been turned upside down.”My left hand goes to the hard knot at the back of my neck.This explains why Gemma’s credit card was declined and she was such a mess today.This is exactly why she almost collapsed when she saw those magazines.I suck in a short burst of air as I remember the pink flush of Gemma’s skin and the softness of her lips in contrast to her blazing eyes.I think about the guy who would throw that away for a pair of new tits and a quick fuck and I want to hit something.“What an asshole.”“I know,” Claudia says.“And just think, I used to have a crush on him.”“It’s not surprising,” I deadpan.“I’ve always questioned your taste in men.”She tries to look offended but doesn’t quite pull it off.“This coming from the guy who wrote poems about Maddie Taylor for an entire summer?”“Don’t you think it’s time to put that one to rest?” I squeeze my neck harder.“We were nine.Maddie Taylor was fifteen and wore a real bra.Of course I was a little in love with her.”“She babysat us.”I merely shrug.“And your point?”“She does adult films now.Or have you forgotten the clip I showed you from Lust in Space, the ill-conceived brainchild of science fiction and porn?”“Oh, I remember it very well.And I think the genre should be called science friction.”Claudia makes a hacking sound.“That’s it.Cue the apocalypse.”I cock my head.“Why the apocalypse?”“Because you!” She gestures at me.“Buying gas for strangers.Being almost friendly.Making jokes.You never joke.”“I joke,” I snap back.“You do? Landon Young, The Lord of Stoicism? Tell me when you’ve joked recently.”I fold my arms across my chest and make a big production out of thinking hard.“There was that one time.”“Oh, right.That one time.” She wings an eyebrow at me.“I just think it’s interesting.Gemma shows up, talks to you for a few minutes and here you are acting like a different guy.Sort of like Old Landon.”“Old Landon?”My sister closes her eyes.“You know what I mean [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]