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.Lindemann."I'm sure of that.And it's apartment 4 - F.I remembered that.If I knew his last name, I would call, but, no, I want to see him and explain."Rubin said mildly, "You certainly can't go yourself, Mrs.Lindemann.Not into that neighborhood at this time of night after what you've been through.Some of us will have to go with you.At the very least, I will."Mrs.Lindemann said, "I very much dislike inconveniencing you, Mr.Rubin.""Under the circumstances, Mrs.Lindemann," said Rubin, "I consider it my duty."Henry said, "I believe we will all accompany you, Mrs.Lindemann.I know the Black Widowers."AFTERWORDI am rather stubborn about keeping my Black Widowers rigidly to the format.I have sometimes thought about getting them out on a picnic in Central Park or having them attend a large convention en masse, or separating them and having each do a bit of detective work with Henry pulling the strings together at last.(I may try that last bit if I ever do a Black Widowers novel, which somehow is not a thought that greatly attracts me.) None of these variations strike me as safe, however.Once I begin playing games with the formula, the whole thing might fall apart.And yet even within the rigidity of the game, there are some rules that can be bent.Might we not have a woman guest despite the die - hard male chauvinism of the Black Widowers? Might a woman not be in trouble? And if the Black Widowers themselves are Stupid about it, surely Henry wouldn't be.So I deliberately set about writing "The Good Samaritan." I didn't have to.It might just as easily have been a kindly and unsophisticated elderly gentleman who had gotten into trouble with a mob of kids.- But I wanted a woman, if only to watch Manny Rubin throw a fit.The story appeared in the September 10, 1980, issue of EQMM.The Year of the Action"SIR RUPERT MURGATROYD," caroled Geoffrey Avalon, "his leisure and his RICHES; he ruthlessly employed in persecuting WITCHES - "He was returning from the men's room and was clearly in a happy mood.His dark eyes twinkled and his formidable eyebrows twitched in friendly fashion.Except that "caroled" is perhaps not the right word to use in connection with any attempt Avalon ever made in the direction of song.It was not that he was either flat or sharp, for on no occasion in the memory of any member of the Black Widowers had he ever struck a note close enough to the desired one to be either flat or sharp.Thomas Trumbull turned on his heel as though he had been jabbed in some tender portion of his anatomy with a thumbtack.He said, "Jeff, shut up.Five years ago, when you last did this, I told you that any repetition of this vile noise you make, will induce homicidal mania in everyone and that I fully intended to beat them all to the punch.""Come on, Tom," said Mario Gonzalo complacently, "the man is just in a Gilbert and Sullivan mood.Let's put him to some interesting use.If he doesn't do the words but just hums, we can all try to guess the tune.""Except," said James Drake, thoughtfully, "that it would be a lost cause.If Jeff hummed 'Yankee Doodle' and then "Old Man River,' we couldn't tell them apart."Roger Halsted said, "I don't think the experiment should be tried without earplugs."Avalon would have drawn himself up, had not his natural stance placed him in a perpetual seventy - four - inch up - drawn position.His voice, in its natural rich baritone - when he was speaking - was distinctly aggrieved in tone as he said, "I had not intended to continue singing after I had emerged from the men's room, and I will cheerfully stop.But might I remind you that as tonight's banquet host I am within my rights in declaring myself permitted to sing?""To do something," said Trumbull, gratingly, "that someone, somewhere, at some time, in a state not too close to drunken insensibility can call singing, yes.That does not, however, include what you do."Henry, that best of waiters, who had listened blandly as he completed the table setting, raised his voice without, somehow, seeming to, and said, "Gentlemen, please seat yourselves."They did, and Emmanuel Rubin, who had been talking to Avalon's guest of the evening during the altercation, now drew the guest into the seat next to his.Henry held the seat for the guest and said, "Welcome to the Black Widowers, Mr.Graff."The guest looked up in surprise."Do you know me?"He was rather short, not much taller than Rubin, round - faced, with a generous mustache like that of a baby walrus, and thick graying hair that covered most of his ears.Henry said, "I attended a lecture of yours at New York University about a year ago and enjoyed it very much."Graff beamed.He said to Rubin, "See, who needs intellectuals? With waiters, I'm big."Rubin said, "Don't dismiss Henry that easily, Graff.We intellectuals bask in his reflected glory."Graff said, "Listen, do you guys talk like this all the time? I never heard such fighting.Over every little thing, too.With words.With whole sentences.- And call me Herb."Rubin said, "You have to understand, Herb, that each of us spends most of his time with ordinary people.We can't pick on them; it wouldn't be fair.Once a month, we're here, and we can let loose.""But you sound as though you're getting mad.Look at Jeff Avalon.In one minute, he'll take his knife and carve up everyone here.""Not at all," said Rubin."I give him five minutes and he'll be pontificating.Listen -"Rubin waited five minutes and then, as the roast goose was placed before him, he said, "Of course, Jeff, it is really unjust to say Gilbert and Sullivan.It should be Sullivan and Gilbert.In any of the numerous parodies of the operettas, Gilbert's words are invariably changed but no one would dream of changing a note of Sullivan's music."Jeff said, "You are quite wrong, Manny.There were other light - opera composers in Sullivan's time and after - Offenbach, Strauss, Lehar, Romberg, and so on.Many tunes of each one of these lives.But only in the case of Sullivan are any of the tunes ever sung by ordinary people.No one knows the words - except in the case of Sullivan, because only Sullivan had the greatest lyricist in the English language working with him."His ill temper seemed to have evaporated."Gilbert is the one lyricist who used the full strength of the English language and the full vocabulary.He rhymes 'executioner' with 'ablutioner,' "diminutioner,' and 'you - shun - her.' He -"Rubin turned to Graff and said in a low voice, "See?"Henry was making the rounds with the brandy bottle, and Avalon bestirred himself.Rattling his spoon on the water glass, he said, "Gentlemen, we come now to the important portion of the evening [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]