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.“Will you come back, Blair? I’s miss you.” He put his little arms around my neck and held on tight.So.Damn.Sweet.“Of course I’ll come back.I’d miss you too.” In the short period of time I’d had this kid in my life, I’d fallen for him just as hard as I’d fallen for his Dad.They’d both stolen my heart.Yes, I was in love with Declan.And Drake.And their life, and I wanted to be a part of it.Forever.I wanted Drake to bounce on the bed to wake me up.I wanted to make pancakes with Declan and dance in the kitchen and do the dishes and so many other silly domestic things.I wanted this life, now that I’d gotten a taste of it.But I wasn’t going to say anything to Declan.We’d agreed this would be a casual thing.He’d already been burned by one relationship and I wasn’t going to ask him to go through that again.Because what if I said yes, I did want this, and then something happened? More than I wanted to be with him, I wanted him not to get his heart broken again.My thoughts were interrupted by Raine arriving and texting me that she was in the driveway.I got up and peered out the window and saw her waving.I knew she’d want to come in and see the house, but she was respecting the boundaries.About time.“Raine’s here,” I said to Declan as he came downstairs, fully-dressed and looking perfect.“Oh, well.I guess I’ll talk to you later?” We’d spent so many intimate hours together and now they were just.ending.“Yeah, I’ll call you and let you know when I’ll have some free time.” I hoped I could see him before Sunday.I definitely wanted to see him before Sunday.“Good.I want to see you as soon as possible.I know you’re busy and I’m busy, but I’ll do just about anything to see you,” he said, giving me a kiss.Drake just hopped around us in glee.“Kiss me!” I gave him a kiss and grabbed my bag and headed out the door, waving goodbye to Drake in his Superman shirt and mismatched socks.“Hey, how you doing? I thought it would be weird if I came in, so here I am,” Raine said as I got in the car.“I’m in love with him.” I couldn’t hold it in.I had to tell someone.Raine smiled at me in satisfaction.“Yeah, you are.It’s written all over your face.So, what are you going to do about it?” I looked back at the house and saw Drake with his face pressed against the window and his little hands waving.I waved back as Raine drove away.“God, I don’t know.This wasn’t supposed to happen.We were just supposed to have sex and fool around and go on a few dates.It was just supposed to be casual.” I put my head in my hands.“That’s when you know it’s right.When everything is telling you that it’s wrong, except you know.You can feel it.It’s undeniable.” I looked up and she was staring out the windshield and I knew she was talking from experience.But her heart had been broken and hadn’t mended.I wasn’t sure if it ever would.“I want it.I want a life with him.I want to be Drake’s stepmother.I love him too.” That little boy had squirmed his way into my heart.“You need to tell him.” That reminded me of the night before and what I’d told Declan and what he’d told me.“I told him about the dossier, and about using him and everything.But not until after he told me he cheated on his wife.So I guess we’re even now? It’s complicated.”“What?! Why did you tell me that while I was driving?” Raine said, gripping the steering wheel.“Sorry.So yeah.That happened last night.Among other things.”Raine shook her head back and forth.“This is crazy.”“Yeah, you’re telling me.And I’m the one living it,” I said.“Hey, do you mind if we stop at Starbucks? I need an extra boost.” Or five.It was going to be a rough day.“My God, yes.I was going to stop anyway.Okay, so start from when he told you about the cheating and why in hell you told him about the dossier.Did you tell him I was the one who found all the information?”“No, I kept you out of it.”She breathed a sigh of relief and I launched into my story, but I had to backtrack and start with the Ada situation.A lot had happened in twenty-four hours.I filled Raine in on everything in the car and at Starbucks and on the way home.A lot of the talk was me telling her how I’d fallen in love with Declan.“I don’t know how it happened.He’s just so damn irresistible.I never should have gone out with him.I should have known I’d fall for him, but I thought I had better control,” I said, stuffing my face with a croissant as I typed with the other hand.Raine had made a good start with the edits and I was adding my own ideas to hers.We’d go over them together later tonight.It was a good thing I knew how to multitask and could put different things in different parts of my brain.“It’s the British thing.I seriously think they should study those accents.They do something to us,” Raine agreed, popping an Oreo in her mouth.“Probably.And the hair, and the way he talks and the way he is and every single damn thing about him.You ready to hear something insane? I’m even glad he told me about cheating on his ex-wife.Because now it means he’s not perfect.He’s human.And I can love him even more now that I know he’s real.” Fucked.Up.Raine thought about that while she chewed.“Yeah, that makes sense, actually.It’s always a good thing when you find out someone’s flaws, because people aren’t perfect.And those who seem like they are often have the worst secrets.” That was definitely true.“And now he knows you’re not perfect.Do you think he loves you?”I nodded.“But I don’t think he’s going to let himself feel it.We already talked about how this isn’t serious and he’s terrified of being hurt again.He’s built those walls up and I don’t know if I’m strong enough to break them down.I don’t want to force him to be with me if it’s going to make him unhappy.” Raine raised her eyebrow and scoffed.“You’re crazy.He’s just scared of getting hurt, but you can’t stop yourself from falling in love.And the more you fight it, the worse it gets [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]