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.How much worse of a person he'd become since losing Amberlee.She was the only thing that had made him good.Made him useful.Now he was nothing.Nobody.And all he did was cause pain in the people he cared for.Blake came out with his suitcase and computer bag."I'm staying up at Grammy's," he said.And then he was gone.Wyatt looked around at the house.Amberlee's house.Everything just as she'd left it.Except her husband who had failed her in life and failed her worse in death.The guilt was unbearable.Wyatt took another drink.Then he went to his room.There was a.45 in Wyatt's nightstand drawer.He picked it up and stared at it and thought about the night he’d pulled the trigger.It had been two weeks after burying his wife and he’d wanted to die.But the gun had jammed and he’d passed out from the whiskey and the fear.Now he didn’t want to die.He wanted to live again, but he didn’t know how to dig himself out of the grief and guilt.So he took another drink of whiskey and walked outside, gun in hand.Out the door and through the yard.Into the woods.Rain had started coming down in spurts.Sometimes sheets of it swept over him.Then it would be gone with just a few sprinkles left.He walked on until he reached the cemetery and then Amberlee's grave.He sat, leaning against it the way he had that one time before.He drank until it burned through his veins and left him feeling blissfully numb.He hefted the weight of the gun in his right hand.This time, it wouldn't jam.He'd given it a good cleaning and test-fired it a few weeks back.It wouldn't jam.He tried not to think about it.He figured a good, old-fashioned three count was in order.First a drink.He swallowed down a huge gulp of the burning amber liquid.He almost choked.Then he took a few breaths.He put the gun to his temple and squeezed his eyes shut.It was different this time.He was driven more by guilt than grief.He didn’t want to live, but he didn’t want to die."One," he said.He breathed."Two.three.fuck!" he jerked the gun away and slammed his head back against the headstone.He stared at the sky that was blurring from his tears."God, Amberlee," he moaned.He owed this to her.She'd been everything to him.And he couldn't save her.He owed her this.He put the gun to his head again."One.two.three.God dammit!" He jerked it away again and brought the bottle of whiskey to his lips.He drank, but it did little to strengthen his resolve."I'm sorry, baby," he said, his voice weak."I'm so sorry for everything."He knew this was the last time he'd come here with that gun in his hand.He wouldn't do it again.His decision was made and he hated himself for it.He stared ahead of him and drank.CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVELiza called that night.And when she got no answer, three times in a row, she drove over.When she realized Wyatt wasn't there, she decided to wait.But hours passed.She began to fear.Fear grew into panic.She went back home for Charles.Together, they drove out to the cemetery.It was the obvious first place to look.The storm was going full force, now.The night was pitch black except when lightning shocked it into brief and stuttering whiteness.They arrived at the cemetery and climbed out of the truck, shining flash lights towards Amberlee's grave.A stroke of lightning showed Liza a terrifying vision.Wyatt, unconscious, with a gun near his hand."Dear God, no!" she screamed, and ran to his side.She shoved him to his back and pressed her fingers to the side of his neck.She didn't need to feel the pulse, though, because Wyatt groaned and squinted his eyes open.But then they rolled back shut.Still, he was breathing.That was when she saw the empty whiskey bottle next to his hand.Charles knelt at her side and together they managed to get him to his feet.They dragged him to the truck.They couldn't get him in the cab in the state he was in, so they dumped him in the bed, pushed closed the tailgate, and drove him back to their house.They called Stan, who lived just up the road.Between him, Charles, and Blake, they managed to drag Wyatt into the bathroom.They dumped him in the tub.His head lolled to the side and he snored.One of his legs was crooked over the edge."What do we do with him?" Charles asked.Liza hovered by the door."I don't know.But I'm not putting him into one of my beds soaking wet and covered in mud.""Just leave him there," Stan said."Let him sleep it off.""Shouldn't we clean him up?" Liza asked."We?" said Charles."You want me and Stan to get him out of his clothes and hose him down?"Liza shrugged."Seems like a good idea."Stan and Charles rubbed the back of their necks in one of those twin gestures that marked them as father and son.Liza smiled."I don't think he'd want us to do that," Stan said.Charles nodded vehemently."Oh for heaven's sake," Liza muttered."Seriously, Mom, just throw a blanket over him.""It'll kill his neck, sleeping in that position.""It's better than face down in the mud at the cemetery," Charles replied.In the end, Liza lost the battle.She tossed an old blanket on him and kissed him on the forehead.Blake had hovered in the background and was now leaning in the door, watching his father sleep.Liza put her hand on his shoulder."I'm sorry you have to see him this way."Blake shook his head."I'm angry.And disgusted.And afraid.I guess I'm just at the point I wish he'd either man-up and get help.Or else just pull that trigger." Suddenly he choked back a sob and looked away."I can't believe I just said that.What kind of a person says something like that?""I've thought the same exact thing, Blake.It's so hard watching him do this to himself.I just want it to end and.and I think sometimes.maybe it would be better if." she couldn't finish.Blake sighed."Maybe I should gift wrap Ettie for him.You think he'd be happy with her?"Liza chuckled."That's very generous of you.But I think he has some things to work out, first, before he can get involved with her."He turned his gaze on her."So you do think I should bow out of this? Get out of their way?"Liza sighed."I think if he decides to get his life together, then Ettie will be a perfect companion for him."Blake looked nauseated as he stared at his dead-drunk dad."It's just so weird.And wrong.If it were anyone but Ettie, I'd be so devastated.But she's.unconventional.And she's caused me so much heartache already I'm kind of not surprised.I mean, I'm surprised at him.But it's par for the course for her."Liza patted him on the back, pleased with how well and fast he seemed to be bouncing back.Now if they could only get Wyatt on the right track.CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVEI reckon I was incoherent the entire drive back home.Lauren just kept saying, "I know," and, "I'm so sorry," and, "There, there.A good night's sleep will clear things up." I'm pretty sure she wasn't actually listening to my words, just my sobs.Oddly, though, I was mostly crying from exhaustion.I'd built up Blake's reaction in my mind enough that it didn't really startle me.He pretty much did and said exactly what I imagined he would [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]