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.She wanted to fidget, but held still with an effort, and tried to concentrate on Mike as he began to pour.The first tart-sweet swallow of margarita hit her empty stomach with a punch that left her fingertips tingling and her mind just a little distanced, like the first breaths of laughing gas in the dentist’s chair.She gulped down a few more swallows until her throat felt frozen.For now, she’d take all the numbness she could get and deal with the headache later.Gemma watched in silence as Mike sat next to her and pulled his chair close.He waited until Mary Kate and Brady were talking, and pitched his voice under the level of conversation, but Gemma could hear him clearly enough.“You’re going to have to tell me everything, Gemma.Everything.I know you’ve held back most of the cr—” he glanced toward Timothy “—details,” he finished.“But that stops, right now, between us.Have you got that? I can’t protect you unless I know all there is to know from your side.”She stared at him.“Okay,” she said in a remote voice.“But I can’t think.”He peered at her, then at her empty glass.“How many of these have you had?”“Just one.”“What have you had to eat today?”She looked down and off to the side, trying to remember, but nothing came to mind.Mary Kate touched Gemma’s hand, but her eyes sought Mike’s.“Brady and I will be fine out here.There’s more munchies in the fridge.I can see dinner’s going to be awhile.”* * *Brady picked up his glass and took a quick sip as he watched Gemma’s unsteady progress up the porch steps.He’d missed what Mary Kate was saying, and now she had that amused twinkle in her eye married women get when they think they’ve got you all figured out.Okay.Maybe it wasn’t that hard in his case.He had been pretty obviously sizing up her sister-in-law.He grinned at her.“Sorry, M-K.Listen, I’ve got some stuff to do, so I’m going to take off.Tell Mike I’ll bring his car back first thing in the morning.”* * *Gemma sat across from Mike at the small kitchen table, eating crisp sesame crackers he spread with rich cheese and handed to her as she babbled through a tequila-loosened brain.She bit into another cracker and brushed her tongue over a crumb on her lip.The food and a glass of strong iced tea were helping to clear the fog from her mind and settle her jumpy stomach.Gemma shook herself.“I don’t have very good luck, do I? First Dad, then Trev, now Ned.The men I love all die.Even the ones I don’t love.”“And that makes me, what? Corned beef? Shit happens, Gemma.The Irish know that better than anybody.”Gemma wiped tears away with the side of her hand.Mary Kate knocked a warning and stepped into the kitchen.“That’s enough, Mike,” she said after a glance at Gemma.“The poor kid looks done in.” She turned and burrowed into the refrigerator, emerging with a heaped plate of wrapped sub sandwiches and a large pottery bowl with a smaller plate balanced on top.“What have you got there?” Mike took the bowl as they followed Gemma out into the yard.“I thought we should get started.We all need food.The chicken is for Timmy, because he’s starting to get cranky, and he hates sandwiches this week.”A half hour later, replete and still feeling slightly dreamy, Gemma let the evening wash over her, her gaze resting on Timothy as he yawned into his plate of chicken nuggets and carrot sticks, until Mike stood and stretched.“Come on, Rocket Man, time for bed,” he said, scooping the groggy little boy off his chair and carrying him into the house.Gemma stood slowly and took a deep breath of the evening air.“I think I’ll turn in, too.”“I’ve set you up in the spare room,” Mary Kate said.Gemma bent to kiss her sister-in-law’s cheek.“Thanks, M-K.You’re the best sister I could ever have.”* * *Maybe it’s the potato salad that’s keeping me awake, Gemma thought as she tossed and kicked at the covers.She hung half waking as emotions crashed and overlapped like waves on a beach.How could Ned be dead? She couldn’t believe it.Murdered.She shuddered.Loathing popped to the surface, shouldering out horror.She’d been so stupid about Ned.Still too shocked from Trevor’s death, feeling so lost, so empty.And along came this handsome, articulate, sophisticated guy who seemed to worship the ground she stumbled across.He’d swept her off her feet, and she’d let it all happen too fast.Mike had tried to tell her, but she wouldn’t listen.No one she knew really liked Ned, but she’d ignored all that and started shutting people out.Doing things Ned’s way.Eloping had been his idea.He’d kept pointing out how miserable it would be to have a formal wedding with everyone on her side of the church hating the whole idea.She’d been in some sort of emotional bubble, just floating along.She’d convinced herself she could be a good wife, but she hadn’t really loved him.Not like she had loved Trev.Trevor.The love of her life since the eighth grade.Sweethearts, best friends, lovers.She’d been so proud when he and Mike joined the Navy together right after college.Mike went into Intelligence, just as he’d always planned.Trevor—merry, loving, daredevil Trevor—fulfilled his life’s dream and became a pilot.And three weeks before their wedding, he was gone in a ball of flame against a mountain in Bosnia.The Navy said it was mechanical failure, but that seemed too pale, too ordinary a thing to have extinguished someone so full of life and joy.She punched her pillow into a more comfortable shape, but her mind kept racing.Damn Ned.The son of a bitch had ripped her life down, again.Okay, being murdered probably hadn’t been his idea—she’d grant him that much.But the effect was the same.It wasn’t his fault.Or maybe it was.Maybe he’d pushed the wrong person too far.God knew, there had been times she’d wished she could slip something into his soup, back when she’d cared enough to feel anything at all.Now she was going to have to care again because he’d be in her face, everywhere she turned, until they caught the guy who killed him.She’d like to punch that s.o.b.for throwing her back into all this.Or kiss him for ridding the planet of that perverted slime ball.Rats! Okay.They could give the guy a medal and then shoot him.She wondered what had happened to Ned.And how he’d ended up at Bob’s cabin.He’d taken her to that cabin once, for a party.She’d felt completely out of place among the sleek, world-weary crowd of his friends.They made her feel gauche and naïve, just the way Ned did.No one had missed her when she wandered out of the house and spent the afternoon sailing alone on the little lake.Gemma jerked the comforter off the floor and tugged one corner over to cover her feet.She didn’t have the energy for this any longer.Resentment swelled under her solar plexus and she clenched her teeth hard enough to make her ears hurt.The sharp little pain reminded her to take a deep breath and keep breathing.Just keep breathing.She finally dropped off into half dreams, where the cabin guests all watched her in a way that made her think of old vampire movies.Brady hovered around the edges of the crowd, juggling a keyboard and a huge margarita.Ned was there, charming, smiling, then dead, splayed across the deck, still smiling as Brady turned into a wolf and bit her with strong white teeth.The throbbing of her orgasm was so intense it startled her awake.It had been so long since she’d felt this aroused.Since Trevor’s death.Almost seven years.Way too long [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]