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.“Sameh.” A low groan escaped from his throat, and then his arms were around her and he was lifting her off her feet.She started to say more, to explain why she’d come, but he bent his head and his lips covered hers, smothering her words with a frantic kiss that went on and on, until finally a horn honked behind them.The cabdriver stuck his head out and hollered, “Hey, lady, I hate to interrupt, but are you sure you still want me to wait?” Sameh looked at him, dazed and disoriented.Adam gave him an impatient, dismissive wave and then drew her into the house and shut the door.“Adam, I—”“Don’t talk.For God’s sake, don’t talk.” He held her tightly against him and put two fingers across her lips.She could smell his skin, taste its slight saltiness on her lips.She could feel his strong arms trembling as they enfolded her.“Don’t say a single word, Sameh.It’s only when we talk that things get out of whack.” His head dipped, and he claimed her lips again, his kiss hungry and intense.“Sameh.My darling, beautiful Sameh.” His lips were pressed against her ear.“I love you, you know that.I’m an idiot for hurting you.I’m sorry.”She nodded against his jaw.She knew.She knew too that she should tell him right now that she was leaving, but she couldn’t bring herself to do it.“Adam?”He was nuzzling her neck, pressing kisses against the hollow of her throat, whispering his love in broken phrases, holding her as if he never intended to let her out of his embrace again.It broke her heart.Time was slipping away; all the precious moments she had left with him were speeding past.“Adam, take me to your bed.Please.” With her body, with her soul, with the complex language of physical love that they’d taught each other so well, she would say goodbye.CHAPTER SIXTEENADAM STIRRED just before dawn, still drugged by the warm and delicious aftermath of passion, and in his sleep he reached out to hold Sameh, the way he’d been holding her all night.She was gone.The pillow beside him was cold.Alarmed, he came fully awake and staggered out of bed to see if she was in the bathroom or the kitchen.The light over the stove was on.A note stood propped against the toaster, and the moment he saw it, he knew.I have to leave now, Adam.I’m sorry.I hate to go, but there’s too much I haven’t learned yet, and Delilah is coming with me.I’ve explained it all to Bernie in a letter.I’d like Blue Knights to close up her house and care for it until she gets back.If I don’t see you again in this lifetime, know that I love you, and love is eternal.Yours, for always,Sameh.The paper was tearstained.She’d tried to make him some coffee before she left.The machine was still making gurgling sounds.Grounds were spilled in the sink and the filter wasn’t in properly.Water was dripping out the bottom and trickling slowly down to form a growing puddle on the tile at his feet.He picked up the note and crumpled it savagely in his fist and threw it hard against the wall, wanting to smash something, to destroy something, because the unbearable pain inside felt as if it was about to destroy him.TWO MONTHS PASSED.Adam went to work because he couldn’t figure out what else to do to fill the daylight hours, or how to vent the confused mixture of anger and loneliness churning inside him.Janice and Bernie at first tried to sympathize with him about Sameh, but when he consistently met their stumbling efforts with stony silence, they finally gave up.Bernie and Frances invited him over repeatedly.He refused, polite and remote.He couldn’t bear to see Corey and Kate, and remember a lovely, clumsy woman singing them lullabies.Janice asked him for advice on the courses she was taking in criminology.He answered only her direct questions and volunteered nothing more.The first couple of weeks, he’d gone home and methodically drunk his way into oblivion, but the next morning’s hangover, combined with overwhelming feelings of hopelessness and loss, became more than he could bear, and finally he gave up on liquor.He tried women next.He phoned a redhead he knew, an obliging, lush widow who liked to cook candlelight dinners and serve sex for dessert.He drank her expensive Scotch and ate his way through beef Wellington and Caesar salad.Sipping cognac as she led the way to her bedroom, he did his best not to think of Sameh.The redhead was naked except for a triangle of thong panty and a filmy bra when he realized he didn’t have an erection, and he wasn’t going to have one anytime soon.He felt as if he was betraying Sameh and everything she’d taught him by even being there, and shame scorched him.He mumbled a string of feeble excuses, pulled on his pants and hurried away.He didn’t try women again.Instead he joined a gym.He drove to it after work and spent two solid hours training with mindless determination.He drove home, still in his gym gear, and ran along the beach until he was finally exhausted enough to stop, grab a bite and then sleep a few hours.He’d just arrived back from one of those marathon runs on a stormy Wednesday evening a few weeks before Christmas when the phone rang.He avoided calls now, allowing his machine to pick up and ignoring requests to call back.He listened dispassionately, toweling off sweat as the machine recorded yet another message.“Adam Hawkins, this is Detective Mike Lopez, San Diego Police Department, Juvenile Division.We have two boys in detention here who insist they know you.Their names are Troy Cavanaugh and Victor Gascon, better known as Cougar.Call me at 555-4600.I’ll be here till ten tonight.”Troy and Cougar, obviously in trouble.Well, they were on their own.He had no intention of ever getting mixed up with those two delinquents again.He’d taken them in because of Sameh, he reminded himself.He and Bernie had both gone out on a limb to get them into a decent place, and they’d done their vanishing act, leaving him with a whole lot of explaining to do.To hell with them.Adam went into the bathroom, pulled off his shorts and shirt and stood under the shower spray a long time.He fought against memories, but they flickered through his mind unbidden.Myles, driving all night to pick him up the third time he’d run away from the academy.Sameh, exhausted and sweaty, asking him to try just one more street, one more hangout, one more alley, in case the boys were there.Myles, standing beside Adam’s wheelchair at the veterans’ hospital, telling him he was taking him home.A letter in Sameh’s handwriting, sent to the office and addressed to Troy and Cougar.Cursing, Adam roughly dried himself, pulled on sweat-pants, picked up the phone and stabbed in the numbers.“Detective Lopez, this is Adam Hawkins [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]