[ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
.They’ll all come around and things will be fine.Your family loves you, that’s what counts.”Needing to take his mind off the subject, Tom asked, “Do you want to go shopping tomorrow?”Marissa nodded.“I want to do some Christmas shopping before I go back to school.Can we stop by a music store, though? There’s something I need to pick up.”Tom stared at Marissa blankly.Where the hell was one of those?CHAPTER 11Even though Tom distracted himself with one of his favorite hobbies, shopping, he still found himself thinking about his coming out.Of course, it didn’t help that his parents went on with life just as if nothing had happened.He wasn’t sure if he should approach them, or wait until they were ready to confront the issue.He asked Marissa for advice as they picked through Black Friday leftovers, but she wasn’t any more confident.“I missed that episode of Dr.Phil,” she said, tossing a hideously bright puke green leather wallet back into the sea of unwanted gift items.Tom held up a red Velveteen and shear striped women’s dress scarf and eyed Marissa through the shear parts.He really wished he could speak to Isaac, he’d know what to do.Tom let the scarf fall from his hands.Actually, he couldn’t wait to tell Isaac and the club about his coming out.They’d be so proud of him.At least someone would.“Let’s go,” he said through a sigh.“There’s nothing I need here.”Tom wasted many shopping hours feeling glum over the whole affair and debating what he should do.Every store he and Marissa went into, he was reminded of his dilemma: black or brown, Boss or Kors, keep mum or shout, “Aren’t you going to say something?”Tom finally resolved to simply sit quietly and observe the normalcy that was continuing on around him.However, every so often Tom could swear that his parents would take quick glances at him, perhaps in an attempt to check and see if he was actually their son and not some gay imposter of their son.As if his mother would ever allow a knock-off in her house.The Monday Tom returned to school from Thanksgiving weekend loaded down with Black Friday purchases and the freeing feeling that he had actually done the right thing by coming out to his family despite their continued silence, he searched for Isaac.Tom found him cooped up in the Alcott Library studying for final exams.“Don’t you think it’s a bit soon to do this?” Tom remarked offhandedly.He leaned against the top of Isaac’s study carrel.“I’m a senior,” was Isaac’s lackluster response.He kept his head in his books.Not really knowing how to segue into what he came to talk with Isaac about, Tom decided to just get it over with.“So, over Thanksgiving, well, actually on Thanksgiving, after dinner, I kind of, um…well, I came out to my family.”Isaac stopped what he was doing and looked up at Tom.“What do you mean by ‘kind of’?”Tom shoved his hands in his pants pockets.“I guess it was more of an I came out.”“That’s great.How did they take it?”Tom looked around the library.There wasn’t really anyone in their section.Isaac stared at him expectantly waiting.Tom shrugged.“Well, they didn’t kick me out.”Isaac furrowed his brow.Tom could tell from experience that Isaac was beginning to formulate what he hadn’t said.There was no doubt in Tom’s mind that one of Isaac’s legendary questions was about to emerge.Not wanting to head down that path, Tom cut Isaac off at the chase.“It was ok,” Tom said.He leaned against the study carrel again.“We didn’t speak about it much.It was just such a surprise, even to me.I think everyone needs more than a weekend to come to terms with what it all means.” Tom felt that was a nice spin on a less than perfect situation.Isaac eyed Tom as if he didn’t fully believe that line.“At least you did it.All families have different reactions.As long as you feel your coming out wasn’t received negatively, that’s what really counts.”Isaac looked down at his books, giving Tom the impression that he wanted to get back to studying.Tom wasn’t ready to leave, though.Even though he felt awkward admitting to Isaac that his family never uttered a single word about his coming out, Tom still wanted some kind of validation that he was right in his beliefs that in time they would come around.“What if my parents—”“They’ll come around.It may take some time, but eventually they will.” He tapped his pencil against his books.“A lot of times a coming out is harder on parents than on us.Parents tend to grapple with issues about what they may have done wrong or how they failed as a parent.” Isaac stopped tapping and looked up, his eyes a bit glazed over.Tom got the strange feeling that even though Isaac was staring right at him, he wasn’t seeing him.“I find this ridiculous, of course,” Isaac said, snapping back to attention.“Having a gay child isn’t the result of bad parenting.” He shook his head.This appeared to be a sore spot for Isaac.“I never thought my parents might be thinking they did something wrong.This is just who I am.They didn’t have anything more to do with it than I did.”Isaac nodded.“I wrote a research paper on this very topic.I’m trying to get it published, which would help immensely with graduate school.”Tom had no doubt that Isaac would find his way into a good graduate program.The boy was more committed to his passions than anyone Tom had ever met.As Tom searched Isaac, he wasn’t quite sure where Isaac was headed, but he was sure that whatever Isaac ended up doing, the world would benefit from it.That made Tom feel as if he was in the midst of someone truly important.Isaac blushed.“What?”“Nothing.” Tom shook his head.“I just realized something, that’s all.”“Going to share?”Tom chuckled.“Not just yet.”“Then do you mind moving on,” Isaac said playfully.“I have exams I need to pass if I ever want to get out of this place.”“Okay, okay,” Tom surrendered.“I’ll see you on Wednesday.”As Tom made his way out of the library, he was sure Isaac was following him with his eyes.CHAPTER 12Tom walked into his dorm room after taking his last finale, paused in the middle of the floor, turned to his bed, walked the few steps and collapsed upon it, the springs crying out in disapproval.“I’m free,” he said out loud.“I’m free.”“Good for you, man,” Joey said continuing to pack a suitcase.“So, did your French final go as hoped?”Tom lifted himself onto his elbows.“It did, actually, thanks.” Tom had spent the last two weeks after the end of classes practicing his French with Joey [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]