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.The humid air of a Georgia summer was never more welcomed than it was now.As stifling as it was inside the bar, the air was so much freer on the outside.Too much drama and chaos and that was two of the things that I tried to steer clear of.I needed to put things in perspective for myself and stay away from Big Pete’s for a while, too many ill feelings.Parking my Jeep in my driveway I threw back my head onto the headrest and just sat there for a moment, alone with my thoughts.I’m sure the rest of the evening would be spent recapping every single tiny detail and overanalyzing it as I often did.It was no wonder that I was still by myself without a special someone in sight.Things would be so much less complicated if I just stuck to music and numbers.You didn’t need anyone else to keep involved with those two things and they were the biggest things in my life right now.I had my girlfriends but they were so wrapped up in their lives and their families that I’m sure they wouldn’t even notice my absence for a few weeks.Once inside, my fridge was trained on my sights and I stalked my way to it never faltering until I reached its sleek stainless steel outer covering.This refrigerator had never failed me once in the three years I had been living here, keeping my beverages and food chilled to just the perfect temperature.I yanked on the solid black handle to open the door and examined the contents only to come up short.There was a major beer shortage, as in there was none at all.Pacing back and forth on my tiled flooring trying to come up with another form of alcohol that I could drown my sorrows in, I came to realization that I never kept beer in my fridge because I hated it.My mind was so completely muddled that I couldn’t even remember my alcoholic beverage of choice, I was sincerely afraid that I was on the verge of losing my mind.At the age of twenty-six, was that even a possibility of happening? This was it, it had to be all downhill from here.After remembering of the one lone bottle of liquor that was stashed up high in my cabinets, I retrieved a chair from my dining room table, and scooted it along the floor until I reached the countertop.Yeah, I was definitely losing my mind, I didn’t even care about the scuff marks that were left on my kitchen flooring.Bracing an arm on the back of the chair, I hoisted myself up to where I could reach into the very depths of my oak cabinet, where no man has gone before.Oh it’s true, Tessa bought it for me and she was the one to put it up there.Wrapping my hand around the neck of the glass bottle, I unsheathed it from the dark space in which it occupied and lifted it in front of my face as if it was the best thing ever made or a really bad decision.Most likely it was more of the latter as bad decisions seemed to be my forte lately.But I was well past the point of caring.I jumped down from the chair and then reached up into another cabinet for a glass.Fireball was most often enjoyed in the form of a shot but being fresh out of shot glasses I would go for drinking this extremely potent cinnamon whiskey from a nice large glass.If I was really daring I would drink it straight from the bottle but alas I wasn’t.It would actually gross me out doing that and the thought sent shivers down my spine but not the delicious kind like Roman had invoked earlier this evening.Dragging my feet along the tile of my kitchen and then the carpet in my living room, I flung myself down on the couch before leaning forward so I could place my clean glass on the coffee table and poured myself a big shot of the amber liquid.Bringing my head back to rest on my couch I began to contemplate how I got here.Was I so hard up for love that I was trying to find it in the worst places? I didn’t think that I would settle on loving just anyone but I was indeed quick to throw the word around.Choosy, that was one word that wasn’t active in my vocabulary but it definitely needed to be.I deserved happiness and love so I needed to re-evaluate things in my life and make some well needed changes.“It’s time to ignite the night,” I said lifting my drink in the air for a toast, more so to myself as not even my cats were around.Traitors.That first initial drink, once the cinnamon hits your tongue and as it glides back, it feels as if you are eating the hottest of peppers, the spiciest of foods.It continues to burn as it travels down your throat and esophagus all the way into your stomach warming you up from the inside out.You almost felt as if you had to try to catch your breath afterward, or acted like a dog with your tongue hanging out just to get that little bit of cool air to enter your mouth and extinguish the burn.No matter how many times I had consumed the whiskey it still always made me cough.You know the type of cough that was just loud enough to be annoying.I was sure I looked like a real prize at the moment, wrinkled clothes, drunk off of my ass, and if my senses were indeed correct I stunk to high heavens.“What in the world is happening to me?” I yelled out into the darkened room.“Where is my old happy go lucky self?”I didn’t receive a response but I was bound and determined to find that carefree man who had to be lurking around here somewhere.TobyWednesday rolled around and there was a little more of a pep in my step.A little more move in my groove.After getting completely plastered on Sunday night and waking up with the worst raging hangover on Monday, I actually didn’t know if I would live to see the end of the day.As the very first customer of the day, I walked into Turn the Page Bookstore complete with my Ray-Ban sunglasses covering my eyes and it wasn’t the least bit sunny outside.Today was a day that my special cold cream or even cucumbers could handle the gigantic dark bags underneath my eyes.“I need fancy coffee and chocolate STAT!” I hollered out in a whiny voice into the empty store as I dragged my feet over to one of the deep red couches that I personally picked out the for the store, something about the color just made them pop amongst the space.Flopping on a couch was so out of the norm for me but that was exactly what I did, and instantly regretted it as pain radiated through my skull.I carefully rested my head on the back of the cushions and flung an arm over my eyes.Even with my sunglasses still perched upon my face, the fluorescent lights were wreaking havoc on my pupils [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]