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.I missed out on seeing her face when she opened it, the fashion show afterward, and the amazing sex instead of the thank you card I actually got.But seeing her walk towards me in it right now almost makes up for all of that missing out.“Stop looking at me like that.Did you bring out the vodka?”I clear my throat and look back at the table where I had set up some drinks for us.“Yeah, I did.I also brought some black cherry juice and a glass so you can stop chugging and cussing like a sailor.Maybe I can see some of my Butterfly come back.”“Oh, I’m not that bad,” she scoffs.“You’re just ridiculous when it comes to things like that and me.You don’t seem to have a problem with Allison drinking and cussing.” She pins me with a stare that says she really doesn’t care what my answer is going to be, so I don’t bother with a reply other than shrugging a shoulder.“Speaking of which, Ava told me you’ve been dating more.I think that’s probably good.If you were going to get serious with Allison, you would have by now.”She sips on the drink I hand her, her eyes questioning me over the top of her glass.This time she does want me to respond.This time I really don’t want to.I set my own drink down and quickly step towards her, grabbing her at the waist and jumping into the pool while Macie screeches, sputters and kicks.Her left arm flails about behind my back, her right pressing her cold glass into my shoulder blade.When we resurface, her glass is missing, I’m laughing, and she splashes as much water at me as she can muster up.It doesn’t take but two seconds for her to join in and laugh with me.Before I know it, we’re tangled up in each other’s arms.Macie is wrapped around me with her head thrown back in laughter, water dripping off her chin and running down her neck.My breath catches in my throat and I stop myself from following that droplet any further down.It takes me back several years; it’s like we’re just kids again.If only we were.Pulling her closer to me, I know nothing has ever felt more right.Her hands slide from my nape to my shoulders as she stops laughing and her gaze meets mine.Her legs lock tighter around my waist and my hands find their way further down hers, landing on the underneath side of her thighs.Her expression turns concerned and she slightly shakes her head no.I smirk and nod my head yes.“I’m not going to cross any lines, sweetheart.I want to, but I won’t do that…” Changing my smirk to a mischievous grin, I think I’ll try to throw her off balance.“Unless you do it first.” I smile at her until she lets loose a heart-crushing sigh.I move in to kiss her nose.She closes her eyes and holds her breath.Pressing my forehead to hers, I whisper, “I miss you.So much, I miss you.I can’t lose you forever, Butterfly.We’re not finished yet.What we had…we just barely scratched the surface.We have so much to break into still, there’s so much for us, Macie.Don’t marry him.Dammit, don’t marry him.” To hell with pride; I’m losing it and I don’t give a damn.I know now more than ever that I need her in my life forever.Her exhale is harsh and the inhale is shaky.The two tears that leak from her closed lids do me in and I reach up to cradle her head to my chest in the most soothing way possible.She rests her head there on my shoulder for a couple minutes, hugging me as I s u nk us further into the water to avoid the cold wind on our wet bodies.The heated pool feels like bath water, but standing here the wind is frigid on our wet skin.“I think we’re already crossing lines,” Macie mumbles into my shoulder but makes no attempt to remove herself.“I guess that depends on who you’re asking.” Smoothing her hair back, I continue to feel anxious over the fact that she’s not responding to my plea.“Are you cold?”“Yes.But I’m not ready to give this up yet.”There’s my answer.She buries her frozen nose into my neck and clings a little tighter.I feel like the only thing holding me together is her arms around me.“You didn’t wait in the kitchen like I told you to.Did you park in the garage like I asked?”Macie nodded her head.“Sorry about that.I wasn’t thinking there was an actual reason for you being so bossy.Thought it was just natural.” Her voice was low and crackly, so different from just moments ago.“You’ll stay here then.We’ll behave, I promise.”Macie showers while I change the bedding and then I shower while she gets ready for bed.We don’t talk.It isn’t awkward.We never are.Once we’re settled in bed, I pull her close to me and we spoon like we have so many times before, only this time there’s a finality weighing on us.It hovers over us like in an invisible cloak, nearly suffocating the life out of me.“Are you truly in love with him, Macie?” My voice is muffled by her hair, which I have my face buried in.“Why don’t you like for me to cuss?”“Really? You’re going to deflect that question right now? That’s not the wisest decision, Butterfly.” I prop myself up on my elbow so I’m looking down at her.She doesn’t move and she looks so beautiful lying there on my pillow.“Do you really want to have this conversation, Grey? I think it’s best that we have tonight and I leave in the morning as if nothing happened.I need to marry him.It’s the safest choice for me and I wish you would leave it at that.”The safest choice for me.I have done so much damage to this girl that she’s marrying a guy she doesn’t love, that I don’t like, making the largest commitment of her life based on safety.Fuck.Me.I roll over onto my back and scrub my face as I try to process all of this.Initially I want to roll over the other way right on top of her to make her see reason.I’m fairly certain if she felt us back together she would know I’m right, there’s so much more left of us.But if I’ve really fucked up that badly, then I can’t go messing with her emotions when she seems so certain right now.I want her, yes.I need her, hell yes, but I also need her peacefully happy and if this guy does that for her, well then…shit [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]