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.It took me a long time to prepare it and slice it and serve it, but we were all hungry again soon after.Fire is blazing on a bunch of wooden torches stuck in the sand.My palms are sweating, and only a little because of the heat.The producer is shuffling around the set in headphones.A make-up artist is caking make up onto Ed Bernstein only slightly faster than he can sweat it off.I don’t know why they bother.I hate this part.Everyone scuttles to the sidelines once we’re seated and the stage lights they’ve rigged up around the pitch and voting booth are switched on.It’s twenty times hotter instantly.A swarm of insects start to buzz and flutter mercilessly under each light.‘Thanks for coming, castaways,’ Ed tells us, like we had a choice.His shirt is a violent red today.His khaki pants have way too many pockets.‘How are you feeling now, Colin?’‘It’s Punk,’ Punk replies, adjusting his glasses self-consciously and wiping his face.‘And I’m OK, now, thanks.’ I hear Jaxx stifle a snicker.‘Good to hear it – we had a bit of a situation on our hands this morning,’ Ed tells us all.‘In fact, it’s been a pretty interesting week, right guys? Before we go into the votes, we have a few things to discuss.For your benefit as well as for the viewers at home, we thought we’d re-cap a few of the highlights, so let’s start with that very impressive sand couch.’ The white screen flickers into life and I hold my breath.There’s a flashback to Karin building her doomed masterpiece; first in normal time, then sped up.She’s looking around her the whole time to check if anyone’s watching.I look at her in real time behind me.She’s blushing and Mia’s holding her hand.‘It took you a long time to build that, Karin,’ Ed says.‘There’s never been anything quite like that on Deserted before.How did you feel when someone sabotaged your work of art?’A camera on a dolly in the sand pans to her and Karin shrugs nervously.‘I guess I felt pretty bad at first,’ she says.‘But the saddest thing is that no one’s admitted to it yet.’I feel sick.I feel like the worst human being on the planet.Ed Bernstein gets big bucks to stir things up at these things.In previous seasons, these meetings have caused huge rifts in the group back at camp.I struggle not to hang my head; not to look at Joshua again.‘Do you feel like maybe there are people in the team who aren’t being very honest?’ Ed says, raising an eyebrow.‘I think withholding some stuff is part of the game,’ Karin replies tactfully.‘We’re all here to try and win.But yeah, it’s definitely caused some trust issues pretty early on.’‘Trust issues,’ Ed repeats thoughtfully.‘Interesting.Karin, would you say there’s anyone in the group so far you would trust, implicitly?’‘I guess, Mia,’ she ventures.‘Why’s that?’‘Because she’s like a mother.’‘Mamma Mia,’ Mia smiles.‘That’s what they call me back home.’‘Interesting,’ Ed says again, though he doesn’t really look interested.‘Let’s watch another highlight.’The screen flashes onto a shot of us swimming in the waterfall after the last challenge.It looks so idyllic from the helicopter – a perfect frothy spill of white water gushing into a turquoise pool, and all of us just pink dots between the rocks and the emerald green jungle.We really are in paradise.The scene cuts to Mia again, sitting up on the rocks with Punk.‘Who’s out next d’you think?’ Punk asks her and Mia shakes her head.‘I don’t know honey, maybe me.’‘You? People love you, Mia! Way more than me and Karin.’‘You’re good entertainment,’ she tells him.‘Thanks, I think.So, you think I stand more of a chance than Karin?’ he says over his glasses.She sighs.‘I don’t know.She’s a sweetheart, and she’s pretty,’ she says.‘But then, none of us are as fun to watch as Alyssa and Joshua, I’m sure.’They both kind of smirk at that for a moment and the screen goes blank again.My throat is dry.My heart’s a kangaroo.I can feel everyone’s eyes on my face.Ed pauses dramatically, allowing time for her words to sink in and for the horrible music I know they’ll add over this awkward silence.‘Alyssa and Joshua…’ Ed starts as I try to look un-phased.‘Any idea what Mia and Punk might have been insinuating there?’ Oh, God.‘Oh come on, we all know what’s going on,’ Journey cuts in and my hands clench around the bench.‘Journey,’ Ed says, walking up even closer and folding his arms.I’m dying to turn around, to look at Joshua, to know what he’s thinking, but I fix my eyes on Ed.Fear knots my intestines.What the hell is she going to say? What the hell are they going show next on that screen?‘Isn’t it irritating when team members keep secrets?’ Ed says, raising his eyebrows at Journey.‘I saw them destroying the sand couch.I’m sure everyone at home did, too, right?’ she says.There’s a collective gasp and I cover my face with my hands.Karin takes a deep breath.‘You never told me that!’ she says to Journey.‘She never told any of us that,’ Jaxx adds.‘I mean, we all know you guys are hooking up but the couch, wow…’‘Wait, what were you guys doing exactly, to break it?’ Shan cuts in before Stephanie stifles a giggle.‘And why wasn’t I invited?’I cringe internally as I hear the others start to laugh and I know I’m looking crimson in megapixels in a million people’s living rooms right now.We should’ve just told them it was us.God, now we look even worse.At least they’re laughing, I guess…‘I just had to make sure everyone here knows they can’t trust Joshua,’ Journey starts.‘Oh please, yogi, you were planning to use that information for bribery,’ Shan says.‘You’re not too hot at it though, are you? You do know what bribery is, don’t you?’Jaxx snorts.‘You didn’t have the balls to face Joshua alone in order to bribe him, did you?’ Punk says now.‘That’s why you waited for now.You want to twist our votes at the last minute.’‘Journey breathes deeply like a dragon.‘Can you blame me? Joshua’s already proven himself a murderer…’‘A murderer?’ Ed repeats, coolly.‘The fish, the snake, the goat,’ she starts.I roll my eyes.Journey’s not the hippy at all here – she’s the villain.It’s always the quiet ones.Every frickin’ season.‘Ah, the goat,’ Ed nods his head.‘Yes.You seemed pretty emotional when it came to that goat today, Journey.What upset you most about the killing, exactly?’She draws a breath.‘Look, I know you all might think I’m crazy but I don’t agree with what you made us do and I think as the obvious unofficial leader of this group, Joshua had the chance to make a stand.And he didn’t.Instead he organized the murder.’‘Oh yeah, real criminal, that one,’ Shan says boredly.‘Watch out world.’Before anyone can add anything else to the mess the screen’s flashing on again.‘Let’s take another look at today’s goat feast, shall we?’ Ed says and instantly we’re transported back to the fire.There are Jaxx and Joshua skinning the goat, tying it to some posts and hanging its headless body over the blazing coals.There’s Journey, watching it all from the sidelines, scowling, then pretending to meditate beneath a palm tree like an angel.They’re showing us a few hours later now, slicing up the meat, taking it over to the shoreline on our banana leaves and tucking in with bare hands.Joshua’s head is next to mine and Shan's - we’re sitting away from the others.And there’s Journey again, this time alone, looking at us all eating, sniffing the air.She’s walking towards the cooked goat, tentatively [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]