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.“I don’t even want to know what’s going on with you two,” comes a snarky voice behind me.Annabella looks up and sneers.“Sanders.I would say it’s a pleasure to hear your voice, but since I can’t stand the sound of it, I won’t.” Then she looks at me.“It’s like nails on a chalkboard.” Then she shudders.“Real cute, Annabella,” Rachel says, and I can imagine her standing there with her hand on her hips and a glare in her eyes.Her brunette hair will be down to her shoulders and her button up shirt will be open too far, showcasing her boobs.Her brown eyes, which are not soulful like Royal’s, will be empty and void.“Why don’t you move along? No one has anything to say to you in this part of the hallway.” My shoulders tense up.These two are about to fight and I want nothing to do with it.I might not know where Royal and I are headed, but I do know I don’t want beef with his sister.So I turn around just in time for Rachel to roll her eyes.“Y’all are having this weird lesbian shit on my new locker.So why don’t you move along? Hmmm? Or should I go find a teacher and have them ask you? That should be fun; I could totally say y’all were making out.That’s against the school rules, you know.” She beams down at us with her megawatt smile.Oh my god she’s a bitch.“Your locker is now by mine?” I ask, my face all pinched together in disgust.Her eyes go from Annabella to my face.This is where I start to see Rachel in a new light.Her eyes soften when she takes in my tear-streaked face.“I’m only joking around.Well about the lesbian thing.I really do have the locker next to yours now.There’s a black mold outbreak over where my old locker is.” Then she smiles gently at me.Annabella and I quickly back away at Rachel’s mood swing.“I think she’s batshit crazy.Not you,” I tell my best friend, with a scared look on my face.Annabella does a full belly laugh and then snorts.“Probably.Did you know Royal won’t let her date anyone? Yet he can sleep with anything that moves.I’d go crazy if I couldn’t have sex.It’s already killing me that Donovan lives so far away now.At least I get to see him every once in a while or have phone sex whenever.”I gag.“Please don’t talk about the phone sex.I don’t care about that or about how good it is.”“Don’t knock it until you try it.” Then she winks.***I hang out with Annabella and Pierce that night, which also happens to be Friday.Tough I left them two hours ago.Royal texts me a few times asking me to come over, but I ignore them.I know it’s wrong, but at the end of the day, I’m fucking terrified of him.I’m terrified of what he makes me feel.I’m scared of what being with him will do to me.The closer we get, the further away I feel from Trey.There’s a big part of me that refuses to let him go.I know it’s wrong of me, but how can I give up something that meant that much to me? Trey was my whole life and he was taken from me.He didn’t choose to leave.And this part of me can’t choose to walk away from him.Another part of me, that is just as big as the Trey part, is all about Royal.I think about him all the time.That’s what messed me up in the hallway with Annabella.How can I think about him and not Trey? Then it occured to me that I’ve been having them both.I keep my love alive for Trey but the hormonal part of me is all about Royal.It’s like I’m having a relationship with two guys.Is that wrong of me?I know it’s not cheating considering Trey has passed.Or is it? Because I’ve started something with Royal whether I want to admit it or not.And that leaves me caught between life and death.That’s where my biggest problem lies.How can I truly feel anything for Royal if I’m still in love with Trey? The truth is, I can’t.I climb out of my bed, where I admit I was staring at the ceiling.But this time it was different.I wasn’t feeling sorry for myself or caught up in old memories of Trey.Royal was the reason I was staring at the ceiling.I make my way to Bentley’s room.I take in how much it’s changed since he was little.The walls are still blue but he’s painted over the clouds Mom had painted when he was young.The walls are full of heavy metal posters and his guitars.His favorite, the red and black Gibson, is propped up on its stand.His room is big enough for a full size bed, a couch and an entertainment center.Bentley is sitting on his couch playing The Last of Us on his PS3.“Can we talk?” I inquire softly, looking anywhere but at him.Bentley looks up from his game and smiles.“You can always talk to me, Wes.I’d never turn you down.”I cross the fluffy white carpet, loving the feeling between my toes.I flop down on my butt next to him.I stare at my hands as I begin to speak.“If there was a girl you really liked, would you wait around for her to get over someone else?”I can feel his sharp green eyes on me, searching for why I’m asking this.It’s a moment before he answers me.“If I really liked a girl, I would wait forever [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]